Friday, September 30, 2011

57/M

Dad's gonna expire in 6 months time. Thats what his doctors told him earlier.

This is the case of M.F./57 year old male who came in due to difficulty of breathing.

2 days PTC, patient suddenly experienced severe dyspnea associated and exacerbated by movement. No other signs and symptoms noted except for easy fatigability.

Signs and symptoms persisted; hence, consult.

Patient is a known diabetic and hypertensive. He was also diagnosed with kidney and gall stones three years prior to current consult. Patient underwent angioplasty 10 years prior. He was also diagnised CAD 10 years prior. No other surgical histories noted.

Patient's dad died of pancreatic cancer while his mom died of colonic cancer. Hypertension, dyslipidemia, diabetes are all present in his family.

He was a previous smoker and an alcoholic. Patient stopped smoking and drinking alcohol when he was diagnosed with CAD 10 years prior.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Solitude

The past few months were complicated. My journey has been tainted with blood-- battle wounds and scars. For the past few months, I've been unconsciously containing my feelings and emotions. I have been unintentionally blocking my frontal lobe to feel pain, happiness, and shame. 

Lola died a few months ago. Just yesterday, one of my uncles died and before that, my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer with liver metastasis. All these passed without me feeling the deep emotional thing that usual people feel when they are faced with these circumstances. 

I am confused. I'm confused with the fact that I draw positive things from these "painful" situations. I'm afraid that I have converted myself into an apathetic person. I am afraid that I might care less in more sad yet relevant life situations. I am afraid of being the person that I don't like. 

I am afraid. I am confused. I am human. I am in solitude.