Friday, September 14, 2012

Physicians- Masochists and Sadists


It has been quite a while since I updated this blog site. I haven’t been writing anything just because I really got busy. 

Good news,  I am now a senior intern. Senior internship in medicine is known to be the most benign year in the medical profession. It is the year when you get a lot of alone time to study to prepare for the much awaited licensure examination.  They say that internship is the “rest year”; however, in our case, it is not.

I am currently rotating at the Surgery department—the department that I loved most when I was still a junior. I thought I’d be a part of this team someday; however, things changed. Now, I just don’t feel being part of the team anymore. Yes, I am still interested in the skill and knowledge but after reflecting and stepping back, I have discovered that surgery isn't for me. I cannot see myself in 10 or 20 years in the operating room cutting people. Also, surgery is not that “fun” anymore—it just mutated into an evil beast excited to devour me. 

I want things to go on fast forward mode. I want to end this madness. I am seriously getting tired of the routinary activities that we do. I hate the pre-duty-from sched. I'm sick of it. But, then again, I entered this harsh profession and I promised to finish this with finesse. 

Six months, and i'll be over this. Six months of torture, I must say. I am surviving this crap because in one way or another, I enjoy being guillotined to death. 

I conclude that physicians are all masochists and partly, sadists. I wonder why the culture in Medicine has been so awful that it became the norm. I wonder why hierarchy has been part and parcel of this profession. Once, I believed that Physicians are a conglomeration of people who just want to help others through health. I am surprised that physicians are mostly a group of intelligent, ego-centric individuals who try to get satisfaction by 1) helping their patients 2) humiliating their juniors and 3) making things complicated even if they're not.

Medicine has its own world that "ordinary" people will never fully understand. I guess, they'd have a glimpse of such only up until they submerge their heads into the life of being a doctor.