Power Play

There are a lot of times when you feel that you are not doing anything. Doing nothing as if everything just goes like you just wished it to go your way. But no, sometimes, you unconsciously pushed the button and entered the game of: "power play."

I just realized that I do some kind of power tripping/ playing in my life. I never thought that I actually do this. Things in life, as they come naturally, may be accounted for the fact that they just occur. Sometimes, we really just have the power to play the cards of life.

I haven't thought of stuff like getting someone into trouble and eventually, you would end up benefiting. Yes, I cannot vividly recall any of these things happening. Things just fall into pieces because of the "animal instincts" that we have. These are just... inevitable.

Power play is a skill, an art. It is something that everyone must have to learn in order to survive this weird world. I say, this game is purely exciting. It is funny.

You ask so many questions. :|

Blame Yourself

I have repeatedly acknowledged the fact that one cannot blame others because of the injustices done to him or her. It is just selfish.

You know what, I lied to you because I know that one day, you'll blame all things to other people. I don't want this to happen. But here you go, asking me, begging me to tell the truth. There, I told you the truth.

Months have passed and you still can't get over what I've told you. You do not blame me because I know you love me but you blame the person who did nothing wrong to you. She doesn't even know that you're angry at her or you're bitter of her. Here's the thing, I was the one who committed the error. Ergo, I'm the one to be blamed.

With these, I'd rather continue lying than telling the truth. Why? Cause, it isn't helping you.

If you were to blame me, I'd accept it. I'd try to understand and absorb all the sufferings these events have brought you because I'm the one who fell off the covenant that we've made. I'd ironically say sorry to you. Yes, I said sorry to you.

I'm not mad. I understand how you feel; but, are you not mature enough to still think this way? I mean, you are too intelligent to think this way. You even broadcast stuff to the world. How can this be fair to me or her?

I ask you: "what's wrong?" You say: "there's none." How can this be? Girls have this default answer of THERE'S NOTHING when in fact THERE IS SOMETHING!

You always think that you're the protagonist of life when in fact, you're just a speck of this world. It isn't bad to think that you can rule the world; but, it is docile to think otherwise. You are not alone. You can hurt others. You can hurt even the person whom you love because of what you are doing.

One can be angry, I must agree. But prolonging such anger makes you a lot weaker and a lot vulnerable. You appeal to pitty, you appeal to what's right. You seek agreement, you seek fairness. You seek comfort to relieve your pains. These are but human nature; HOWEVER, these are not reasons why you can consciously hurt others and be selfish and insensitive to them.

Blame yourself when it's due your cost. Blame yourself when you feel that there's no one to blame. Blame yourself for not understanding the whole picture. Blame yourself when you view the world as an idealistic map where you can play your cards along. Blame reality for it doesn't conive with you. Blame your expectations. Blame your dreams. tsssssssssssss.

Inevitable

Some things are better left ignored.

There are moments where things go beyond the capacity of logical thinking and emotional balance--Events where we are left with life enveloped by harsh reality where one cannot do anything but to wait in suffering and resentment.

Gaia's bitterness aims to balance our ambiguous paroxysms of electrical charges within our body. There are things better left ignored. There are things better left static. There are things only the core of the earth can manage.

This bothers.