I'm Sappy. Medshitz and Happyshitz

I’m getting tired of medicine. I don’t know if I’m just physically tired or I’m just not that interested anymore. I never imagined myself encountering such experience. I’ve wanted to be a doctor since I was a child. I’ve told myself that I won’t ever give-up on studying the art and science of medicine. But here I am, eating my own promise.

I’ve been trying to study. I can’t concentrate. Is it because of the module, the way lecturers present their specialization or is it me who has the problem? I need to get my motivation back. I don’t know how.
There are moments that I feel not going to school. There were lots of times when I got tardy at school because I just did not want to wake up. I mean, I literally do not wake up—consciously. I turn off the alarms (fact that I have two alarms with 5-10 mins interval for snooze.)

I’m looking forward to neurology. I hope I get my interest back. I want to play the game of a doctor licensed to kill. I want to be like Dr. House one more time. I want to be more curious than before. I want to live up my idealism that I want to discover more.

Now, I’m here at coffee bean sitting and drinking my air conditioned cold drink… just accompanying my friend, Mike. He’s doing his SGD. I’ve done mine already. He sits there patiently and I think, enthusiastically learning new stuff and I’m just here literally and figuratively killing time.

As I look at the baristas, I imagine life-–so simple. I envy the baristas for “just” making coffee, serving pastries, greeting each person who comes in the shop happily. Maybe their life is simpler than mine, but who knows, maybe not.

Imagine if medicine is just as simple as making coffee. Imagine everyone just relaxing. Wouldn’t that be so nice?

I plan to end this day productively. Maybe, today is just the day that I have to regain my strengths. I think I must not do anything. I think, it’s the time for leisure reading and watching movies. But no! I can’t! I just did that yesterday. Oh crap, I just don’t know what to do.

Well yeah, looking at the bright side, I think I found my woman for life. Isn’t that great? Now, I’m happy and satisfied.

I'm Sappy, I'm Medshitz-Happyshitz.