Meant to be Different

How many relationships would end up a happy ever after especially when the two main characters have conflicting views of life?

I and my girlfriend have been together for more than four years and yet, it seems that we never and we inevitably cannot find the perfect thing/ reason that would make us as one person (as what the Catholic Church would teach.) Well as of now, we still haven’t found the right reasons how we would complement each other. I don’t know if this is completely normal or we’re just being “us” because we think that we need a partner who’s completely the opposite of our own—opposites attract. Honestly, it’s very difficult to live in a very stressful life coupled by these things. I personally am not comfortable anymore about what’s happening between us.

I’m not the perfect guy who would always be with her. I’m the type of person who sees that things must go smoothly and that no deviations from what has been planned should be made. I’m the career guy. All these are the opposite of my girlfriend and all these complicate my situation more. I hate to say this but maybe, I’m falling out of love… but my brain enzymes and hormones dictate that I must not.

She’s the perfect person for me. This is what my brain tells me. Oh crap that I could not even focus on matters that I should be doing right now because of what just happened early this eve. I won’t deal much of what happened to us but to hell, how can she not even tell me what’s bothering her? How come that she would mask her emotions such that I should feel okay and she wouldn’t?

I hate today. I hate my fucking life in med school. I hate how I deal with my girlfriend. I hate myself.

F***ckin’ Robbins that I must study his book tonight!